sex hikayeleri interior desing escort fethiye escort denizli porno hikaye kredi kartı borç sorgulama sitesi yayında ziraatbank borç sorgulama
Fiji Jokes

 

  Follow @ Twitter
To My Dearest Wife (1248 views)
To My Dearest Wife,

During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn't succeed more often:

We will wake the kids - 54 times

It's too late - 15 times

I'm too tired - 42 times

It's too early - 12 times

It's too hot - 18 times

Pretending to be asleep - 31 times

The neighbors will hear - 9 times

Headache or backache - 26 times

Sunburn - 10 times

Your mother will hear us - 9 times

Not in the mood - 21 times

Watching the late show - 17 times

Too sore - 26 times

New hairdo - 6 times

Wrong time of the month - 14 times

You had to go to the bathroom - 19 times

Of the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that there was a crack in the ceiling, 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with, 7 times I had to wake you up to tell you I was finished, and once I was afraid that I had hurt you because you started thrashing around and breathing heavy. Let's try to improve this, shall we??

Love, Your Hubby

**********************

To My Dearest Husband,

I think things are a little confused. Here are the REAL reasons you didn't get more than you did this past year:

Came home drunk and tried to screw the cat - 23 times

Did not come home at all - 36 times

Did not come - 21 times

Came too soon - 38 times

Went soft before you got it in - 19 times

Cramps in your leg - 16 times

Working too late - 33 times

You had a rash, probably from a toilet seat - 29 times

Caught yourself in your zipper - 15 times

You had a cold and your nose kept running - 21 times

You had burned your tongue on hot coffee - 9 times

You had a splinter in your finger - 11 times

You lost the notion after thinking about it - 42 times

Came in your pajamas after reading a dirty book - 16 times

The reason I laid still was because you had missed me and were screwing the sheet. You seemed to be having a good time and I didn't want to move and spoil it for you. I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling. What I said was, "Would you like me on my back or kneeling?" The time I was thrashing around and gasping was when you farted and I was fighting for air. Maybe you can work on your "shortcomings?"

Love, Your Wife




 

Random Jokes
One night, after the couple had retired for the night, the woman became aware that h ...
A very homely person made an appointment with a psychiatrist. The homely person walke ...
Jokes of the day
Tony and his friend John die in a car accident and go to judgment. God tells Tony tha ...
Little Johnny was in class and the teacher announced that they were going to try some ...

 

Wiggle

 


SEARCH JOKES
 

 

 

BUSINESS
ERP, related Bills to be amendedThe Fijian Parliament has approved a motion to amend the Employment Relations Promulgation (ERP) and other related Bills.
SPORTS
Fiji U20 suffers big loss in friendlyThe Vodafone Fiji U20 football team suffered a 7-0 loss against Hungary in its final build up match at Cambridge Stadium in Hamilton this afternoon.
WORLD
'Green'-tinted SUVs at Seoul Motor ShowGas-guzzling SUVs, eco-friendly electric cars and the odd brave attempt to marry the selling points of both are taking centre stage at the biennial Seoul Motor Show.
TECHNOLOGY
Vodafone acquires Datec FijiVodafone Fiji has announced 100% acquisition of leading IT company, Datec Fiji Limited
ENTERTAINMENT
Reshammiya to hold shows in FijiBollywood actor, singer, composer and music director Himesh Reshammiya arrives in Fiji tomorrow for two shows in Suva and Nadi later this week.
HEALTH/FITNESS
$5000 boost to assist diabetes awareness programVodafone Fiji ATH Foundation has stepped in with financial boost to assist the Lions Club in their Diabetes Awareness program.
NEWS SPORTS INFOTAINMENT SERVICES MOBILE EXTRA HOT TOPICS