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Fiji Jokes

 

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New Words (1475 views)
NEW WORDS FOR 2005:

Essential additions for the workplace vocabulary.


BLAMESTORMING:
Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or
a project failed, and who was responsible.

ASSMOSIS:
The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the
boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY:
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

PRAIRIE DOGGING:
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up
over the walls to see what's going on.

MOUSE POTATO:
The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

SITCOMs:
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.

STARTER MARRIAGE:
A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.

STRESS PUPPY:
A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

SWIPEOUT:
An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is damaged due to too much use.

XEROX SUBSIDY:
Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

IRRITAINMENT:
Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.
The O.J. trials were a prime example.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE:
The fine art of whacking the shit out of an electronic device to get it to work again

VULCAN NERVE PINCH:
The taxing hand position required to reach all the appropriate keys for certain commands.
For instance, the arm reboot for Mac II computer involves simultaneously pressing
the Control Key, the Command Key, the Return Key, and the Power On key.
For Windows it's
Ctrl, Alt, Delete simultaneously.

ADMINISPHERE:
The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file.
Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems
they were designed to solve.

404:
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found,"
meaning that the requested document could not be located.

GENERICA:
Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same, no matter where one is,
such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions.

OHNOSECOND:
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.

 

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