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Mrs Johnson decided to have her own portrait by a very famous artist.

She told the artist,"Paint me with three-carat diamond earrings, a large diamond necklance, glimmering emerald bracelets, and a beautiful, red ruby pendant."

"But ma'am you are not wearing any of those things."

"I know," said Mrs Johnson. "My health is not good and my husband is having an affair with his secretary. When I die I'm sure he will marry her, and I want the bitch to go nuts looking for the jewellery,"

 

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