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Saving The Vicar (2033 views)
At Sunday church the local Vicar explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more.

There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave because he is so popular.

Fred Smith, who owns several car dealerships stands up and proclaims:

“If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a new Holden every three years and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!”

The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.

Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and publican, stands and says, “If the Vicar will stay on here, I”ll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee private secondary school education of his children!”

More sighs and loud applause.

Then Agnes Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile,

“If the Vicar stays, I will give him sex.”

There is total silence.

The Preacher, blushing, asks her:

“Mrs. Jones, you're a wonderful and holy lady, whatever possessed you to say that?”

Agnes's 90-year old husband, Joe, is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies:

“Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, 'F*ck him'".

 

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