Two Kids (760 views)
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other one off.
Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married. The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.
A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: "Pint please, and one for the road."
Jokes of the day