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Bihari & The British Pommie (1095 views)
Remember the way our Hindi was pronounced by the Britishers and the Anglo Indians ?
Read this in thee way it is ....

Ganpat-Rai (who really needs a job) is being interviewed by Britisher,Colonel Smith Col.Smith: Haan toh "Gaand Fat rahai" (Ganpat-Rai)!!
Bihari: Nahi sir, jyada nahi!!
Col. Smith: Kya 'jyada nahi' bolta hai, tumhara application me likha Hua hai "Gand fat rahai"
Bihari : Theekh hai mai baap, likha hai to fat raha hoga.
Col. Smith: Tum Daily marata hai (tum Delhi me rahta hai)??
Bihari : Nahi sir, kabhi kabhi!!
Col. Smith: Gand fatrahai, idhar aaoo, kya 'kabhi kabhi' bolta hai? Tumhara application mein likha hua hai ki tum Daily marata hai.
Bihari : Theek hai mai baap, likha hai to marata honga.

The Bihari was employed on one condition that he will do whatever Col.Smith's family asks him to do.
Col. Smith: Gand fatrahai!! Ganpatrai : Ji maalik.
Col. Smith: Aaj tum ko 3 kaam karnee kaa haai
Ganpatrai : Hukum Sarkaar
Col. Smith: Tum pehla hamaari beti ko chodenga (drop her off)... baad mein hamaari biwi ko chodenga... aur uske baad mein, hum ko chodenga.
Ganpatrai : Maaf karna Sarkaar, tumhari biwi aur beti to theek hai, lekin main aap ko nahi choddh sakta.
Col.Smith: Gand fatrahai! Tum ko hum ko chodnaa padhega.
Ganpatrai : Nahi sarkaar aisa zulum naa kare.
Col. Smith: Gand fatrahai, agar tum hum ko nahi chod sakta to hum tumko nokri se nikaal denga.
Ganpatrai : Theek hai sarkaar hukum.

After a few days There is no one except Col.Smith's wife at home. She is alone in her bedroom.While wearing her bra she is unable to Tie the knot behind. So......
Wife : Gand fatrahai, idhar aaoo?
Ganpatrai : Ji Maalkin.
Wife : Gand fatrahai, hammara peeche se gaand maaro (gaanth maro-tie the bra knot).
Ganpatrai : Yeh kya keh rahi hai Maalkin??
Wife : Gand fatrahai, jaldi se gaand maaro hum ko late hota hai.
Ganpatrai : Nahi Nahi Maalkin. Agar maine aisa kiya to hum ko sarkar kacha kha jayenge.
Wife : Gand fatrahai, agar tumne jaldi se hamari gaand nahi maari to hum tumko kacha kha jaayengi.
Ganpatrai : Theek hai maalkin. Jo hukum.

Ganpatrai who has been frustrated by these Brits for a long time starts like a bull. Panic striken the wife tries to turn and shouts:
Ganpatrai :Memsaab...Gaand maarega to Gaand to phatega...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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