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Rude & Crude Pick-up Lines (1652 views)
I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day

Nice legs ... what time do they open?

Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package

You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you

I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher: have you seen one?

I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight

Want to play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outa me

I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Supermarket, so I could ride you all day long for 20 cents

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag

I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked

Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?

You might not be the best looking girl in here, but beauty is only a light switch away

Are those real?

You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy

I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue

If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning

(Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself

You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me

You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?

F@# me if I'm wrong, but is your name Sherry Titsbottom?

Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor

My name is (name) ... remember that, you'll be screaming it later

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

Hi, I'm Mr Right. Someone said you were looking for me

My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute

Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you

My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to

I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?

If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public

Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? Don't you like pizza?

Baby, I'm an American Express lover ... you shouldn't go home without me

Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?

Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them

I lost my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room

(Lick finger and wipe on his pants) Let's get you out of these wet clothes

 

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