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Alcoholic Lies (650 views)
An alcoholic had sworn off drinking for the hundredth time to his wife.

She told him this was his very last chance. He did fine for a couple of weeks but the day came when he stopped in a bar after work with his buddies.

Sure enough, one drink led to dozens. He even threw up all over his shirt.
"What will I do now?" he asked his pals, "She'll see this and know I've been drinking!"

"No problem," said one, "tell her you stopped here with us and only drank soft drinks but a drunk puked on you. To make it believable, stick a $10 bill in your front pocket and say he offered to pay for the dry cleaning."

"I'll do it!" the alkie exclaimed.

When he got home, his wife was about to yell at him, but he held up his hand and explained he was innocent but a drunk puked on him.

"See? he even gave me ten dollars to pay for dry cleaning," he said, reaching in his pocket and waving money.

The wife frowned and said "Why are you holding two $10 bills?"

"Oh that ... he $#!t in my pants too."

 

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